Thanks for the suggestoins. The TV can see DLNA shares from my computer through homegroup sharing. XBMC can see the HDHR upnp and can tune the unencrypted channels. So the upnp on the prime is working and the TV is looking for DLNA.
I thought it was maybe because I was using wifi but even going wired the prime wont show up under allshare for the TV. Obviously I have power cycled everything
Will try that samsung pc software next, otherwise I guess I will just give up and go back to wmc for a while.
:edit: That Samsung Allshare software on PC immediately recognised the prime, and the TV immediately saw the allshare dlna server as well. I guess there is something specific with the es8000 and hdhomerun prime.